Monday, September 29, 2014

Proper Strangers


It's like falling out of love. 

It's sad. 

It's rather like a fine piece of broken china that is impossible to mend or a beautiful clock that has ceased running for good. It's beautiful to look at so you don't throw it away but its value has diminished considerably. Eventually, you will throw it away. 

A close relationship ends after years. A close family member becomes estranged. Trust has been broken. Words were spoken -  actions taken. 

Silences begin. Weeks go by. Years go by. 

How do you fix it and reunite?

How do you unring a bell?

A return to a once close relationship is never as it was. A starchy civility sets in. You watch  every word and action. You are careful. Too careful.

It's not what it was. What it was was honest, messy and real. Trust was what allowed you to NOT be careful. 

Honesty without malice - that's a true relationship.

That all goes. And it will never return.

Civility is for strangers NOT friends - NOT family.

What happens in reconciliation?  

You now have a familiar, cordial ever so proper stranger in your life...........back in your life.  

You trade pleasantries. A few attempts are made at rekindling what once was but it is half hearted. 

You stop caring in that deep way - that way that haunted you when you were estranged. Now, it's all about smooth sailing - no ripples, no waves just a nice pleasant cruise. Don't go out too far. Stay close to shore. Life rafts won't be necessary. It will be a safe journey - no bumps, no leaks. And that's good. Right? 

"Hi, how are you?"

"Fine - and you?



"Uh huh - good."



  1. I feel bad for this other person...what if they are genuinely trying to reach back out to you? They might feel bad or even be confused as to why this love broke apart. I think they still care about you.

    1. It's not about blame or the other person. It's about both parties. My piece is talking about both parties - that the trying doesn't bring what once was. Too much water under the bridge. Its not bad its not good is what it is. That's my point. And it has nothing to do with love. But love is obviously still there if the mending is being attempted. I'm just saying change has happened.