Monday, September 29, 2014
It's like falling out of love.
It's rather like a fine piece of broken china that is impossible to mend or a beautiful clock that has ceased running for good. It's beautiful to look at so you don't throw it away but its value has diminished considerably. Eventually, you will throw it away.
A close relationship ends after years. A close family member becomes estranged. Trust has been broken. Words were spoken - actions taken.
Silences begin. Weeks go by. Years go by.
How do you fix it and reunite?
How do you unring a bell?
A return to a once close relationship is never as it was. A starchy civility sets in. You watch every word and action. You are careful. Too careful.
It's not what it was. What it was was honest, messy and real. Trust was what allowed you to NOT be careful.
Honesty without malice - that's a true relationship.
That all goes. And it will never return.
Civility is for strangers NOT friends - NOT family.
What happens in reconciliation?
You now have a familiar, cordial ever so proper stranger in your life...........back in your life.
You trade pleasantries. A few attempts are made at rekindling what once was but it is half hearted.
You stop caring in that deep way - that way that haunted you when you were estranged. Now, it's all about smooth sailing - no ripples, no waves just a nice pleasant cruise. Don't go out too far. Stay close to shore. Life rafts won't be necessary. It will be a safe journey - no bumps, no leaks. And that's good. Right?
"Hi, how are you?"
"Fine - and you?
"Uh huh - good."