What's in this gift? Well, it's a grab bag of delights, challenges, sorrows and, saving the best for last , LOVE.
At the risk of sounding gooey, it is all about love. One realizes - let me drop the "one". I realize due to my current status more then ever that love is the answer to everything. It's what gets you off you. What I mean by that is this: When my life situation changed so drastically a little over a month ago, to my surprise I didn't wallow in self pity.
What happened instead was my immediate concern for my loved ones, especially Glenn. How will this impact him? How will Glenn hurt? How will siblings deal? What about my friends? Should we get together and have a group cry?
Seriously, I didn't cry for weeks. I had one good cry - well it really wasn't a good cry. It was painful. But I cried it out. However, I stopped crying with tears to spare. They'll keep for another day. I don't have time for that now. I am figuring out a way to allow people to help me. To understand their pain. To let them react in their own way whether I see it or not. To assume they care. To assume they love me. To know they do to varying degrees. There are those I know won't much care. There are those who will care but not love me enough to make an effort.
I have received lovely support emotionally and otherwise from several confidants. Glenn has been my rock. I never doubted that.
I want all the love you can give me, now. It is the best support I can possibly get. Love me fully, unabashedly with no apologies. The hell with cute embarrassment. Just love LOVE. It's really the easiest thing in the world and perhaps the hardest. But do it. Don't let the day arrive when you will find yourself overflowing with regret. Regret is one of the most painful feelings.
So, treat yourself to love. Avoid regret. It is really for your own good - and mine.
Thanks - I love you. - t
I love, love, LOVE you Unc T with every fiber of my being! I am also praying for you as that is also how I express love!
ReplyDeleteThere has never been a doubt in my mind that you ever felt any differently, AM. And I know you know how much I have always loved you. Keep on praying and thanks. - unc t
DeleteI have fully loved you unconditionally since I was a little girl. You indeed are a great man with many talents and continue to give so much to this world. I NEED you to be in my life so I pray for your recovery everyday. This may be selfish of me to need you but the thought of losing you is too painful for me to bear. So please remember this and how much you are admired and fully unabashedly loved with no regrets by me, my dear uncle, Godfather, and friend .
DeleteAs Ellen says "Back at You!" Thanks, Deb, for such beautiful words. I plan on sticking around for quite awhile.
DeleteYou will always be my talented nephew Anthony and both the boys(Butch & Gary) and your loving aunt Anne send their love and undying support for you and I pray for you every day to have comfort and strength through this trying time. You have assumed a new roll, a man of courage and strength and a true symbol of love.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Aunt Annie. You are an inspiration. I will try to live up to your vision of me. I love you.
DeleteWow! great Blog and I thought about how much I love you!!! That was so easy, A Lot. We had so much fun in NYC and I loved you then. I have been home for thirty-nine years and have missed you and loved you the entire time. You have made this easy because I know that you love me too. This is a wonderful feeling and a wonderful friendship. I agree with your Aunt Anne, you are a man of courage and strength which I have always admired. You and Glenn are in my prayers every night and remember....Who loves ya baby? That would be me!!!
ReplyDeleteEvie Devie - my bestie - we had such fun in NYC didn't we. To remain friends after so long is wonderful. Our connection was always strong. I guess that's love.
DeleteFamily love. ♥ Sending love and light your way.
ReplyDeleteThanks, MJ - I'm receiving it.
DeleteI love, love, LOVE you!!!!!
ReplyDeleteMe me me, too!
DeleteTalked to Mike and he filled me in. Let me know if there is anything I can do for you & Glen. I'll be praying for you my friend.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Chris - keep those prayers coming.
DeleteI don't understand what is going on but please know this that I have loved you since our days way, way back in 1972. You are a dear part of my life who has shared just about everything with me even though we are millions of miles away.
ReplyDeleteI feel the same, Cathy - love you too.
DeleteCathy I feel the same as you. Our friendship is special and endures. I was recently diagnosed with Multiple Myaloma. I am responding very well to treatment. People have been wondering so it was time to say something. I am doing well. I didn't want to spoil anyone's Christmas so only close family members and of course Glenn knew. Thanks for always caring dearest of friends - much love Tony
DeleteThank you for telling me because I want to be specific when praying to God for you. I really do love you & you will be in my thoughts even more than usual.
DeleteI so very much appreciate that and your love and support. I think I'm going to be just fine I really do
DeleteDeep down I do also but let me do my thing. What could it hurt?
DeletePrayers are always welcome go ahead and do your thing cuz I'm doing it too haha thanks Cathy
DeleteI will be praying for you Tony.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jane
DeleteTalked to Michael. ������������being sent
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kathy
DeleteYou are in my thoughts, my prayers, and I'm sending lots of love your way. Keep on keeping on, Tony and Glenn!!! See you soon
ReplyDeleteThanks for the love, Al
DeleteSending you Love, prayers and peace. It was a beautiful blog!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jeanie
DeletePrayers have been lifted for you since I heard. Love ya, Pal!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lisa
DeleteLove is what I have for you. My prayers and positve thoughts are sent.
ReplyDeleteAnd I for you - thanks, cousin.
DeleteI have no problem sending my love to you, Tony. I know you know how much I love, respect and have always looked up to your example. I can't tell you how many countless people I have told about my talented and accomplished wonderful cousin. I am so very proud of you, have always been. I have been touched by your loving wishes for me and my family. Unfortunately, life prevents us from seeing each other as I wish we could. Our times spent together have always been delightful. You will always accompany a very special piece of my heart. So, yes Tony, I send all the love I can. If we all send our love and positive thoughts, maybe we can muster up a miracle. Love
ReplyDeleteThanks for these super kind words. I, too, am proud of you as you deal with life's challenges as well. Love you!
DeletePrayers for you ....
ReplyDeleteThanks, Christine
DeleteLove you Uncle T!
ReplyDeleteLove you, Stevie
DeleteThe Kitchen Sink was great...never doubt....I love ya and pray for you daily!!!!!
ReplyDeleteNo doubts , here, dear Eve
DeleteYou can always count on me to be there for you. I do indeed love you fully and unabashedly with no regrets Uncle T my Godfather . I continue to pray for your recovery and thank Glenn for all the support and love he has given you .
ReplyDeleteThanks, Debby - love you - unc t
DeleteHey Uncle T...just checking in to see how you are and if you need anything, even if you just want to chat or want company...let me know... Ti Amo..
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome to visit anytime. Just give a call when you feel like dropping by. I want to be at my best for a visit. Overall, I am doing very well from where I was a mere month ago. It would be nice to see you. Thanks for checking in.
DeleteOkay I read your statement on Facebook front. What has changed what was going on with you?
ReplyDelete.
What health issue is going on?
I was recently diagnosed with Multiple Myaloma. I am responding very well to treatment. People have been wondering so it was time to say something. Thanks for caring - much love, Tony
DeleteWhat is going on Tony? I read your blog and now I'm concerned that you are deathly ill. I'm hoping that's not the case.
ReplyDeleteWhatever is going on, I love you and Glenn as well. I'm praying that all goes well with you.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Merridy. I was recently diagnosed with Myaloma. I am responding to treatment very well. I just wanted to share my feelings. People have been wondering about me. It was time to say something. Thanks for your loving care - much love, Tony
DeleteI sure hope the treatments work. Thank you for filling me in. This time of life seems much more fragile. It's easy to ignore the changes but to do so robs one of realizing and appreciating the wonderful treasures that abound. Praying that you continue to benefit from the treatments. You are blessed indeed.
DeleteThanks Merridy that's just the attitude I hope everyone will share with me because it is how I feel.
DeleteI just read about myeloma. It seems to be a tough one. I've known one other person who had this- or something similar and his treatments helped him to live quite a long time. The good thing is that he was able to do just about everything he always did. I'm so sorry that you had to get this Tony, but it's fortunate that they have the treatments that they do today and that your body is responding well to them. I was thinking about it the other day. If we live 20 more years, that would make over 80!
Deletethank you so much for these words. Yes I know that about myeloma and was told from my doctors yesterday about the successful treatments they say I'm getting the gold standard of treatments haha. so I'm very hopeful very positive and Glen has been just the best thanks so much
DeleteCousin Tony: I read your blog with much sadness. I am not entirely sure what is going on, but it does not sound promising. I suppose that is life, but still disturbing. If there is anything I can do, please let me know. Short of that, know that I love you and Glenn and care very much. frown emoticon
ReplyDeleteI was recently diagnosed with Multiple Myaloma. I am responding very well to treatment. People have been wondering so it was time to say something. Thanks for caring. - much love, Tony
DeleteWhew! So glad to hear you are responding well. We will be thinking of you and hope and prayer it continues going well. Please let us know if you need anything. Hopefully, when Rosanne and I are up there (not until the end of May in all likelihood), we can get together.
DeleteI should be fine by May so say my doctors. Look forward to a visit. Thanks
DeleteDear, Tony. Something tells me I should contact you. I just read your Kitchen Sink post.
ReplyDeleteWhat's changed in your life? I'd like to help in anyway. Xo
Jolly I was recently diagnosed with Multiple Myaloma. I am responding very well to treatment. People have been wondering about me so it was time to say something. Thanks for caring - much love, Tony
DeleteSweet man! I will send much love and prayers, daily! Xo
DeleteThanks Jolly
DeleteWhat's the treatment?
DeleteVery easy really. A shot once a week. Steroids one day a month. I doing well and just eager to be done with this
DeleteMercy! It does sound easy but not much fun. We are getting on, dear! Ugh
DeleteTrue - A few months from now things should be brighter or so say my doctors.
DeleteWell, we shall look forward to the future, then. Enjoying today, of course
DeleteTony, it sound like you need loving thoughts and prayers....I'm sending them to you right now .
ReplyDeleteThanks Christine I appreciate loving thoughts. I am being treated for Multiple Myaloma and responding very well to treatment. Its just given me a whole new perspective on life. - much love, Tony
DeleteDEAR EVERYBODY - Thanks for "getting" my current blog entry. The respose was overwhelming. I received your love through countless private messages, emails, texts, blog comments and on facebook with likes and comments as well. . It made my day - hell, IT MADE MY YEAR. I love you all for being so forthright with your declarations. I think I'm going to be alright!
ReplyDeleteDear Tony, best wishes for the best outcomes with your treatment! Mona MachabyHuggins
ReplyDeleteThanks, Mona.
DeleteDear Tony - Just read your blog and comments. From the moment Gene and I met you and Glenn at BurgerFest with the 56 Chevy, we both knew you were a special person and with time we learned more and more of how special you were and we were blessed to be a part of your plays and to get to know you even more. We felt right at home this past summer at the reunion and no matter what life brings us, our group will always have that special connection. From this moment on you will continually be in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us posted on how you are doing with your treatment! IF you need anything, please let us know. And we send our best to Glenn as well. Love, Gene, Kim and Garrett.
ReplyDeleteYour comment makes me feel so good. Glenn and I love you guys. We think of you as the golden couple. And Garrett is a joy. I am responding very well to treatment and getting around a bit better than a month ago. Thank God for Glenn. His spirit in taking care of me has been a blessing. Keep me in your prayers. Love you - t
DeleteDear Tony...I am so sorry to hear about your condition. You are strong grand a fighter. Chelsea and I speak of you often. have always admired your talent and insight. Keeping you I my thoughts and prayers....Best wishes
ReplyDelete..Joanne
.
And a ...sorry about the typos...it's a spell check fight.
Thanks Joanne - Glenn and I have nothing but the fondest feelings for you and Chelsea as well. I am doing well with my treatments and have a very positive view for its outcome. Keep those prayers coming.
DeleteBest wishes to you and Glenn...stay warm and enjoy your day!
DeleteYou are amazing. Love IS the CURE for SURE xoxoxoxo
ReplyDeleteThanks, Amber - as are you - t
DeleteAlmost crying from that so TY TY <3 - I'm an emotional little punkin right about now. I need to go to sleep. Get off the computer. ok. I am done xoxo Nighty!!
ReplyDelete