Forever Young

When I was young and even into my middle age, I wanted many things - material and otherwise. I wanted a career - several careers - some I achieved with success -  some not. 

What else did I want? Well, I wanted to be thin as Mick Jagger and handsome as Sal Mineo. I loved travel and good food, museums and European churches. I wanted to speak Italian and Chinese fluently. Oh, the list goes on. 

It's funny how things work out. I think I confused liking with wanting. I have had much in life available to me. I used to think that giving up things like people and relationships for my career was romantic. I thought a lot of things - all ridiculous - all stupid. But, I don't beat myself up about it. After all, that is what being young is all about - misplaced emotions, wants, desires and bad decisions. We all survive our youth for the most part unscathed. 

Life has a way of stepping on dreams - thankfully - silly dreams - preposterous youthful plans. If you stay true to your nature, it all comes out in the wash. 

From a recent tragic event, I am once again reminded that the only goal I ever have these days is cherishing the love of my life. That nothing has any worth without the sharing. A good book, a movie, a gourmet morsel, a laugh, a few pounds dropped a surge of inspiration means nothing without my love.  

Wish we could all know this when we are young. Well, maybe we do. Perhaps we let it lurk about letting this notion play peek-a-boo with our nerves. Somehow we know it will overtake us when we don't need our many silly desires anymore. We will let it in and thank the stars we've reached the understanding that love is all there is. 

Specific love is the great achievement. It is the worthy success. 

I am a success. I have a love that satisfies all my notions of making it in this world. Everything else is frosting on the cake. To tell you the truth, I always preferred banana bread without the icing.  

2014 was a very good year for me - for us.

2014 ended on a tragic note - two days shy of 2015. It is a reminder how fragile we are - how touch and go life is. 

Cherish your life -  bumps and all. If you have a specific love or two or three, you dare not complain. What's important is that you have your life and that you love and even more importantly that you are loved.  Tragedy can bring you to your senses. 

I cherish my memories of Jenny. What a force she was - funny and smart and beautiful. Jenny was youth. And, now, she will be forever young.  

                                                      

It is too sad to try and figure it out. 

A happy heart can be broken. My happy heart hurts for Jenny's loving family. I wish their painful journey of grief subsides into a spiritual sorrow and ends in love and acceptance. I am hoping today as we all strive to bravely say goodbye to Jenny tomorrow and the next final day, that we remember that no one really dies. The soul is eternal.