Words

                                                          W O R D S

                                               

There are words and phrases that if I hear or see them one more time - 
 I will SCA- REAMMM!!!

Don't worry. I am sure to hear or see them again many times. The scream will be internal like an ulcer!

What are these verbal assaults? Lets begin:

1. preselected - I just got another credit card invitation because I am such a "valued customer" therefore, I have been "preselected to apply" Right - I am so valued that my preselection doesn't actually guarantee the card. It just allows me the right to apply. Oh joy! Oh rapture! I get to fill out a form in ant print that wants to know my business so it can decide if I qualify. But, wait - I was preselected. WHAT DOES PRESELECTED MEAN?? Isn't it simply - selected? Haven't I been selected. Preselected would seem to mean that before I was selected to apply I have been formerly selected which means - um I don't know what it means........forget it - I really don't need another credit card that I will not use.  

2. like - Like has become the new "ya know". Except it is sprinkled over a conversation like salt on potato chips. LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE!!!!! The way it is being used seems to indicate that nothing is literal - everything is "Like" For example, someone might say "I was LIKE really mad at him 'cause he LIKE took my car without even LIKE asking me ....LIKE."  Lets break it down.  No one was really mad. They were like mad. What is like mad? You are either mad or you aren't. No one took the car - they just like took the car. So why is anyone even remotely like mad - and anyway, its angry not mad. Well, you get the picture. It is as if people today fear being literal. Speaking of literal...

3. literally - "I was literally rolling in the aisles - it was so funny !" No you weren't. You were not LITERALLY rolling in anything. You were sitting in your seat literally laughing. This word means what it says LITERALLY. Please everybody GET A FUCKING DICTIONARY. Hey, here's a novel thought. Spend an afternoon googling words and their meaning BEFORE YOU SPEAK!!!

                                           

Whew - I feel better. Let's continue..........

4. so - Have you noticed how people begin a new thought with "So" - as in "So, I was walking down the street and who do you think I ran into?" It's as if they are continuing a story somewhere where they left off due to - oh, I don't know - an interruption of some sort or a sneeze! You don't begin in the middle. As Glinda said to Dorothy "It's always best to start at the beginning." Good advice, Glinda.

5. your used instead of you're - your is possessive - you're is YOU ARE numb nuts!

6. there used instead of their - there is a direction as in over there - their is another possessive as in that is their house over there

7. their used instead of they're - as in they're used to their kids stupidity

8. at the end of the day - Stop summing up with this phrase. It was fine when first bandied about NOW everyone uses it especially TV pundits. It has become a crutch. I literally cringe when I hear it. Yes, I do LITERALLY cringe.

9. I am blessed, blessed, so blessed - Here's where I almost scream. In practically every celeb interview this word or phrase is spoken. "I was blessed to get this coveted role of the stripper." "We are so blessed with high ratings for our series finale." Who is blessing these lucky people. God? God takes the time to wave his wand or whatever he waves and wallah - they get the part. You see, God could be blessing a hungry child in Rwanda but, no, he's giving Jennifer Aniston another 4 million dollar role in another innocuous romantic comedy. How blessed is that?

10. frigging, freakin', freegin - however you spell it, I find this slang more offensive then what it intends to substitute. It is so vulgar and, well, low life. Stereotypes come to mind when I hear this "word" such as an over the hill barfly, a shit kicking' redneck, a toothless grave digger, a drunk in a dive, a bartender in a dive, anyone in a dive!

11. amazing - Why is everything AMAZING today? I have had people describe a certain brand of toilet paper as amazing. A run of the mill restaurant, store, movie, book or play can no longer be described as merely good NO It's AMAZING! Let me help you out - those of you who may be guilty of this over statement. I'll tell you what's amazing - the Grand Canyon is AMAZING. Niagara Falls, the Mediterranean Sea, Italy, Hawaii, Meryl Streep, Akira Kurosawa, Barbra Streisand, spicy tuna sushi, Entemann's chocolate éclairs, classic jazz, a Sibelius Symphony, a really great meatloaf, Keurig coffee pods..............I'm getting carried away......amazing - right?